Everything I wrote after this paragraph, I wrote before actually drawing this image. I don't have much else to add to my prior writings beyond noting the fact that, at 1AM, you lose the ability to parse the basics of physical reality. You're saying when something's on my right side and I turn around, it won't still be on my right side? That's fucked up. That's wet and wild. Thank goodness I have friends to look at my work and tell me that I'm a silly billy. Oh, another thing: sometimes, I can hardly believe that I actually manage to finish these fucking images when I start working on them the same day I upload them. But I also can believe that, because I cut a lot of corners and do a lot of sloppy work and leave the image half-baked, rushed, and utterly divine, because I don't get bogged down for ages refining and finetuning details. I finish the image and I upload the image. There is no room for perfectionism, the work must be done, which I feel is a good mindset.

I spent Friday from early afternoon 'til bedtime drawing Russell from LPS, and then pretty much the entirety of Saturday drawing a different Russell, and now I'm going to spend Sunday drawing for the next 10-13 hours (is the intent--I'm writing this before actually starting in on the drawing. I will have to update this later to say if I actually did that or procrastinated. [Update: I mean, I finished the image, so I definitely worked enough of those hours to do that.]) I have met other people who share my interest in LPS, along with pornography relating to the show. The ideal weekend! 

I also have a story commission I have to do. What a bother! The problem with commissions is that I don't really need the money I get from doing them, and I only do them because I enjoy making things for my friends. However, said friends want to pay me for my efforts, so commissions emerge. But bringing money into the mix threatens to turn it from a joyous personal exchange into a cold business transaction. Plus, whatever thing they want made becomes an obligation on me, and a sort of creative constipant (that's not a word but imagine it means 'something that causes constipation' which is used in this sense as a metaphor for something that inhibits artistic output because the energy that would ordinarily be allocated to free flowing creative whims is instead required for a specific set-in-stone idea and the lack of creative freedom means that the energy winds up not being used at all in favour of procrastination run on sentence kthx!).

What is the takeaway from this? Maybe that if you're someone who makes things, you should have other friends who also make things, and not just friends who pay other people (like you) to make things. Not to disparage the latter group in the slightest; they're simply different kinds of people. Maybe it's better not to mix business and pleasure at all, by abstaining from forming any significant friendships with the people who would want to commission you and not taking commissions from the people who you want to be good friends with. I don't like the thought of that approach, myself. It feels cold and calculating to slot people into boxes like that.

Ultimately, it doesn't matter, because all of this is just a passing thought. I am not dependent on commissions for income, nor are my friendships solely dependent upon people who want to pay me money for pornography! What a happy thing that is. I can make money from my art/writing, or I can form connections with other people based on it, or both, or neither, as the whim strikes me. Guess I'm living a... charmed life! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vD1Yx8z0BXs

DO DREAMS COME TRUE?
WELL I REALLY CANNOT SAY
I JUST HAVE A FEELING
A FEELING THEY MIGHT
GUESS I'M LIVING A...
CHARMED LIFE!!!!!!!!!